DESTROY ALL HUMANS IS SUPREMELY SILLY
Probing with reckless abandon.         


REVIEW

By JAY TEE
02/09/20
Reviewed on Xbox One X.

You will probably destroy all of them!

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Destroy All Humans, previously thought to be languishing in intellectual property jail, has been resuscitated by a company which itself has been given a defibrillator to the bank account. THQ has spent the last several years buying up studios left and right, and bringing back classic titles onto modern hardware. They have rapidly become one of the biggest third party players out there, and Crypto’s return is a solid step toward solidifying that status.

Who doesn’t love flinging cows into a river!? Physics based brutality aside, there’s a pervasively slap stick approach to every aspect of this ridiculous game; you’ll be knocking down buildings, flipping tanks, and revelling in the many absurd ways to achieve your selfish agenda. The protagonists lack of remorse is without question one of the genuinely funniest parts of this game.

But funny is highly subjective, and the cut scene writing is crazy dreadful. Although clearly trying to evoke a B movie sensibility, it doesn’t even work ironically. There’s a lot here that misses the mark, and yet strangely enough, incidental NPC dialogue often lands better than the narrative focused scenes. It’s a strange contradiction in a game defined as something of an oddity.

Presentation wise, Destroy All Humans ticks boxes in a way the Spongebob remaster failed to achieve. Frame rate remains sturdy amongst the calamity, and the art style has aged well. The human characters always looked like crime scene reconstructions though, and those same monstrosities now appear in slightly sharper detail. If anything, it makes you want to zap them even more, so… mission accomplished I guess?

The sheer amount of stuff to do, along with character and ship upgrades, ensures that Destroy All Humans offers plenty of bang for your buck. If this is to be the first step towards a full blown series revival, THQ have done right by this series. The inherent silliness has been retained, and given the soft spot folks have for it, I reckon we haven’t seen the last of Destroy All Humans.

Plus, you can slap people in the face with a row boat.

WORTH IT?

BUT

YEAH!
Destroy All Humans is a brash blast from the past, and one of THQ’s best remasters to date.   

The writing has aged very poorly, so set your expectations accordingly.

TARPS?

BETTER THAN:

WORSE THAN:

At the bottom of some of our articles, you’ll see a series of absurd looking images (with equally stupid, in joke laden names). These are the TARP badges, which represent our ‘Totally Accurate Rating Platform’. They allow us to identify specific things, recognise positive or negative aspects of a games design, and generally indulge our consistent silliness with some visual tomfoolery.  

The PRINCE OF PERSIA POT badge is for a game with glitches too hilarious to be angry about.

The HAVOK PHYSICS badge is for a game where enemies visibly react to weapon hits.

The GRUMPY SPONGES badge is for a game where certain characters aren’t pleased to see you.

The INTER ACTABLE badge is for a game with lots of things in the game that can be interacted with, within the game.

The LAME WAD badge is used in the event a game has particularly bad dialogue or cheesy voice acting that distracts from the story.    



The SEVEN’S IMPLANTS badge is for a game enhanced for specific hardware, and / or re-released with technical improvements.



The JANKY badge is for a game that is a little rough around the edges, but still a charmer.




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